Military Special Needs Network

Proudly Supporting all Military Families with a Special Needs Dependent

Living in the Moment

ImageDeployment is looming  on the horizon. Again.

And there goes my heart.

I know, I’m blessed. My husband has a job in a very difficult economic environment. We have a comfortable lifestyle. At this very moment, Tricare provides for ABA and other therapies for our sons. Life is good.

And yet…

It’s been 21 years. Twenty-one years of missed birthdays and holidays, missed developmental milestones, family reunions and funerals. He’s missed the minutia and the mundane. Doctor appointments and growth spurts. He’s missed tears and laughter. Kisses goodnight and that irreplaceable smell of a freshly bathed baby.

And we’ve missed him. Oh, how we’ve missed him.

This life we live lends itself to always looking forward. We look forward to the next yard period. We count down days for many, many months until we are reunited. It seems as though I’ve spent my entire adult life wishing for time to pass in order for him to come back to me. I’m afraid one day I’ll be old and gray, and I’ll look back on my life and only see crossed off calendar days.

That’s not how I want to remember my life.

And, so, I will endeavor during this long, no doubt emotionally draining, physically exhausting, gut-wrenching separation to make some memories of the positive variety. Rather than bemoan that my husband will miss our baby’s first holiday season, her first steps, likely her first words and first birthday, I am going to desperately try to enjoy them for what they are. Precious, beautiful memories.


Kelly is a Navy wife and mother to three children; 17 year old NT, 6 and 5 year old boys on the spectrum; and, a perfect-to-her beautiful baby girl. Kelly has been featured in a collection of essays on special needs children entitled, “Wit and Wisdom From the Parents of Special Needs Children.” She can also be found at, and as a guest blogger throughout the blog-iverse. In her spare time, Kelly is the Blog Master for, and member of, the Military Special Needs Network Executive Board. You can contact her via email at

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3 comments on “Living in the Moment

  1. annarosemeeds
    August 6, 2013

    Memories are sometimes a blessing and at other times a curse. I hope that you can keep clinging to the beautiful ones.

  2. akbutler
    August 6, 2013

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This entry was posted on August 6, 2013 by in Military Life, Motivation and tagged , , , , , .
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