Proudly Supporting all Military Families with a Special Needs Dependent
New moms are pretty fragile. Like the babies we have just given birth to, we are unsure, out of our element and inundated with information. We face judgement from every corner of the room: our labor was nowhere near as difficult as this person’s labor, you think your episiotomy was rough – wait ’til you hear about hers! How long will you nurse for? You are nursing, right? SAHM (stay at home mom) or working mom? Diaper hierarchies, all-natural hemp/bamboo clothing, swaddling, and papoosing …and this is all in the first couple of weeks of childbirth! Make no mistake about it, Mommy Wars are real. They are real, and ugly, and hurtful.
In truth, judgments about our parenting style and skills begin while baby is in utero. We’re judged on our weight gain – either too much or too little. On our diet. The medical team we see, and the delivery style we choose. This blame game continues with the actual act of giving birth. Did you induce with Pitocin? Have a c-section? Epidural?
Think that’s bad? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet: give birth to a special needs child. It’s like playing the Special Needs Mom Blame Game Travel Bingo. Put a chip on the squares for any of the following ways in which you have been blamed for causing your child’s disability or diagnosis
Look, I could go on and on. I really could. This doesn’t touch environmental studies at all. This is purely all the stuff that mother’s have very little control over but are squarely charged with causing their child’s disability because of them.
So when “researchers” come up with a new indicator of autism, I shudder. Since the dawn of time, mothers have shouldered the blame for their children being anything other than typical. Good ol’ Henry VIII blamed Anne Boleyn for the sex of their child, and had her executed because of it. While things are no longer quite that extreme, the blame for what went wrong is always there. It’s not even implied, but rather, is shouted at us from all directions.
This has to stop. There’s research, and then there’s finger pointing. The overwhelming guilt this causes is unnecessary and harmful to our relationships with our child and our spouse.
Our plans of a “perfect” family may be tossed out the window, and, although, we realize that our family may not be “perfect” in the eyes of the world, it is the perfect family for us.
It's serious. It's sarcastic. It's sweet. It's sincere.
A site to discuss and learn about TRICARE Philippines Policies and Issues that are often times implemented in secret by the Defense Health Agency (DHA). Policies that result in payments at about 7.7% and 3.8% of what they should be or $328 per under 65 person instead of the expected $4,261 & $328 per over 65 person instead of the expected $8,650.
words and recipes from my kitchen to yours
LIFESTYLE - by Esther Herrero
Vet tech student. Student Naval Flight Officer. Professional napping dog.
finding contentment in the unexpected
Musings from an unsuspecting navy wife
This WordPress.com site is about the ups and downs of life and autism.
Retired Pediatric Speech-Language Pathologist with 28 years experience …. still posting occasionally about apps & AAC stuff.
Homeschooling, gardening, parenting, special needs, Buddhism, living, drinking, eating and loving.
Faith, family, and reasons to LIVE.
...to a healthier, happier Family!
Smart and surprising
Remapping My World