Military Special Needs Network

Proudly Supporting all Military Families with a Special Needs Dependent

Last Year’s Me Is Just Fine For This Year, Too

ID-10023393I’m not making a New Year’s Resolution. I never keep up my end of the bargain and I fail miserably at keeping whatever half-cocked goal I came up with. Last year I made some resolutions that were so fail-safe they were embarrassing. Vague “goals” like “EAT MORE SALAD!” were accomplished within the first week when I had fruit salad, pasta salad, and a spinach salad for dinner…does bacon salad count?

Real progress doesn’t happen artificially and with an expiration date. I’m starting small in order to make bigger changes. I’ll be making a point to acquire less, buy less, want less, and yes, do less. I’ll be sitting in the quiet more, without reaching to check my e-mail. I’ll be playing on the floor with the kids. I’ll be letting my son’s stimming and echolalia roll off my back. When it doesn’t, I won’t beat myself up over it. I’ll be working with the challenge that is Autism, instead of working against it. I’ll be celebrating small victories. I’ll be living in the moment instead of looking ahead to the next big thing. I’ll be looking around me, taking in the sights of life, even the ugly ones…I want to see. Haven’t we all been caught up in the whirlwind of an artificial life for far too long? “New Year’s Resolutions” are part of that hurricane of chaos. In “Eat Sleep Sit” Kaoru Nonomura wrote, “Though I had no way of knowing where I might be or what I might be doing the following New Year’s, either, I was heartened by the thought that uncertainty can be a dynamic, life-giving force.” Let’s aim to slow down, be content, and breathe. That’s not a goal for this year, it is a realization that trying to control our life is fruitless and counter productive.

This year, I’ll be focusing on not giving in to the stress that I must be able to do 5,000 lunges or eat only pine nuts in order to be healthy or good looking. I’ll be meditating when I feel like it, running distances without tracking my time, stimming with my autistic son, eating way too much chocolate, and generally enjoying life. I won’t demand more of myself than I have to give, and I’ll be okay with that. In fact, who I was last year is going to set me up for a wonderful year this year too.

Jessica_stars

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This entry was posted on December 30, 2013 by in All.
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